The Price Of Pursuit


Another night of tossing and turning and running to the bathroom, and I was put out. Put out as in frustrated beyond my limits. This has been my thorn in the flesh for the past six years. I’ve tried just about everything to help me sleep. Every non-habiting forming, natural sleep-aid that didn’t cost an arm and a leg, I have tried and found them wanting. There are some nights that it helps, but they don’t always help.

It’s bad enough that my colon wakes me up to go potty in the middle of the night, but when my spirit is restless it makes sleep my elusive friend that I just can’t seem to get in touch with. I call and she doesn’t answer. What is a girl to do to get some sleep around here?

In the midst of my search for sleep, I’ve been on a fast, seeking God for direction to my next step. Just prior to starting a Bible study at my church, I felt the Lord direct me into a different path and so I canceled it. Ok, now what?

In one of my moments of prayer I felt the Lord asking me, What price are you willing to pay to know Me?

What a thought!

What a question!

Paul said,

“But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of knowing Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.” Phillipians 3:7-8a

Paul gave up a lot to know Christ. He gave up his position as a respected Pharisee. He gave up his reputation within the Jewish religious elite to know Christ.

There is nothing we do to earn salvation, but there is a price to pursuing Christ and knowing Him. Jesus posed this same decision before the disciples. The original disciples had the choice to give up their own reputations and livelihood as fishermen, to follow Jesus. He posed the same decision before the rich young ruler, who sadly, walked away from Him, not willing to give up what he had.

We can look at what we lose to follow Christ or we can look at what we gain. We gain the surpassing worth of knowing Christ. Knowing Jesus is worth far more than anything we can gain on this earth. You name the riches and knowing Christ is worth far more!

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I put on the altar my precious sleep. My prayer has been, “Lord, I give you my sleep time. Whatever you want to do with it, help me to know You. If You want me to pray, then lead me.”

It’s a tough prayer to pray, I admit. And I can’t say that every time I’ve tossed and turned I got up to pray instead. Most of the time I am still too asleep to even be conscience enough to pray. I’m asleep enough to dream but semi-awake enough to know I’m in bed asleep.

My desire is to be devoted to pursuing Christ. I want to pursue Christ to know Him. And as Paul finishes out this thought he says,

“That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.” Phil. 3:10-11

By any means possible.


I’d say Paul was pretty serious about knowing Christ to say “by any means possible”. But the goal Paul had in his sight was knowing Christ and being acquainted with the power of the resurrection.

My teacher in school used to say, “Every one wants resurrection power, but no one wants to die to get it.”

Do we really believe in the surpassing worth of knowing Christ? If we do, we will count every thing else as worthless and pursue Christ with a reckless abandon. No price too high.

And Beloved, I suspect that He is worth it. Pursue Him! You will gain so much more than what this world can offer.


11 thoughts on “The Price Of Pursuit

  1. We use “mid-night” potty breaks for prayer, too. If I can’t sleep, I’ll ask the Lord what He wants to talk about. Sometimes He leads me to the Bible or a book. Those middle-of-the-night rendezvous are wonderful! It sure beats fighting to get some sleep!


    • Haha! I always have to get up at least once to go because of my medical condition. There was a time when I got up to go every 45 mins. These days it’s not as bad but it still disturbs my sleep even if I don’t get up as much. Now, I have a light sleep because of discomfort in my colon. Other times my spirit is just restless and I can’t sleep. I just got through a rough period of four days where I barely slept. Now, if I can just remember that maybe God wants to speak. If I can really give my sleep to Him and pray when He is prompting me to pray. 🙂

      • He’s given me some pretty amazing “downloads” in the middle of the night – things I couldn’t hear because of all the distractions during the day. Think Samuel!


      • Downloads. I like that. Ah, yes. Samuel. I think of that, but not much during my groggy-in-the-middle-of-the-night trips to the bathroom. If I have trouble going back to sleep then I might. 🙂 I do need to keep Samuel in mind! Thanks!

  2. Oh that I may know Him !! What a wonderful post. I could relate to this. With a persistent cough that kept me up for 4months. It was all I could do to truly surrender all, especially my sleep. So glad to see such a great example of true resolve!

    • Thank you for your encouraging comments! Wow, you had a bad a cough if it lasted for four months! My disturbed sleep is going on 7 years. It has lead to chronic fatigue, foggy brain, and low concentration which is part of the reason why I only post something on here once a week. I will email ya about guest posting. I would be honored!

      • Okay, that’s perspective! 7yrs? Oh my goodness. I am so very sorry to hear that. I know how I have felt those mornings driving in to work without adequate sleep, falling asleep in my car, up all night (coughing and or attending to my little ones who want to be up all night). My heart is moved with great compassion for you, and now I pray that God will give you the REST your body, mind, spirit and soul need. I’ll be thinking about you and praying for you each time the Holy Spirit brings you to mind. Proud of you for honoring God inspite the long road.

        Can’t wait to read what God gives you! Thank you so much for agreeing 🙂 I’ll lookout for your email.

        Grace to you!

      • Thank you, Marlene! That means a lot to me! Yeah, there have been times when I came close to running red lights and stop signs and I’ve switched lanes without realizing it. I look and all of a sudden I’m in a different lane. “How did I get here??” Haha. Not good. It hasn’t happened in awhile and thank God I haven’t been in an accident! I am still standing because He holds me up. It is all by His grace!

      • And now I see why you are “In the Potter’s Hands” 🙂 God is truly carrying you! And that still feels like a grave understatement. I’m praying for you and can’t wait to read what God gives you to share! Thanks again for agreeing to guest post for me…


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